8 Tips for Talking to Kids about the Sermon

 by Joe Holland

They sit there next to you and their feet don’t even hit the floor. You’re thinking, “What, if anything of this guy’s sermon is sinking into my kid’s head?” And with that little thought you’ve already decided not to engage your child about the sermon. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Let me introduce you to the most important rule when talking to your kids about the sermon: They retain more than you think they do. The second most important rule is like it: They understand more than you think they do.

In the interest of these two truths I’m writing this brief guide on how to talk to your kids about a sermon. I’m writing it both as a preacher and as a parent of four boys under the age of 8. I’ve failed, succeeded, and failed some more at talking to my kids about Jesus. Hopefully the tips you find below will help you as they’ve helped me.

At the heart of the gospel is Jesus introducing us to his loving Father. In worship we get to make a similar introduction—we get to introduce our kids to Jesus. Don’t miss that opportunity.

8 Tips for Talking to your Kids about the Sermon 

1. Remember the outline. It doesn’t matter if you keep written notes or not. Remember the gist of what is being taught. If your pastor preaches for 40 minutes, then try to make a mental note of what you’ve covered at the 20 minute point. Don’t be discouraged if you can’t get every point. Get as many of the big ones as you can. Know the one, main point. Every passage and every sermon—no matter what your pastor says—has a main point. Grab it when you see it go by and don’t let go. And as a word of caution, every preacher has a bad day. Sometimes the structure of the sermon looks like a piece of abstract art. If so, do the best you can. But don’t let the guy close in prayer without having a main point in your head.

2. How is Jesus the hero? Now that you have an outline and main point, make sure you have Jesus too. How was Jesus the hero of the sermon? Kids are incorrigibly self-centered—and so are a few adults. Make sure you have a ton to say about Jesus, no matter what the passage or where the preacher went with it. Without an emphasis on Jesus your little saints will grow up thinking that the Bible is all about them.

Engage your kids with open ended questions. You know the outline and you can keep to the main point. You know you’re going to talk a ton about Jesus. Now engage your kids with any kind of question you can think of… except ones that can be answered, “yes” or “no”. Here are some examples:

     1. In the story questions: “What would have thought if you were an Israelite soldier and saw big ol’ Goliath walking up to little David?”
     2. Emotions questions: “If you were blind, how would you feel if Jesus put his hands on your eyes and fixed them so they could see?”
     3. Leading questions: “The rich young ruler was wrong because he thought he could earn God’s favor. Why is it silly to think we can earn God’s favor by doing enough good things?”
     4. Action questions: “What would you have done if Jesus had made a hurricane turn into a cool breeze right in front of you?”
     5. Application questions: “If Jesus has forgiven you, do you think you can forgive Tommy when he wings a Tonka truck at your head?”
     6. Use your imagination questions: You know your kids best. Make up some questions.

3. Make sure the gospel is clear. Jesus died for sinners. It’s very simple and can get very complex. But no matter the passage, don’t you dare teach your kids moralism. Tell them that Jesus has done everything necessary for them to know that God is overjoyed with them. When you tell them to do something, feel something, or think something, show them how those things are motivated by God’s love and not by fear, guilt, or pride.

4. Be the first to pray and confess. Talking to your kids about the sermon is as much letting them watch you learn from the sermon as it is teaching them about the sermon. If the preacher is helping your congregation diagnose sin, show your kids how it affected you. You could say, “You know, sometimes, daddy struggles with being angry. And it’s then that I realize I really need Jesus.” And when it comes time to pray, let them pray after you. Model for them what it looks like for a Christian to talk to God.

5. Chase rabbit trails. Your kids will lead you down them. Go with them. You’ll find out a ton about how they think. And you may just enjoy the unexpected stroll off the beaten path.

6. Remember the first two rules. After all this, it may be you feel like it was a complete waste of time. It’s at that point you must remember the first two rules: They retain more than you think they do. They understand more than you think they do.

And I promise you this, they will remember these times with you. They will forget a ton. But they won’t forget Sunday afternoons with daddy and mommy talking about Jesus.

 

Should Children Be "Allowed" in the Worship Service?

Here are some GREAT questions and answers from the blog of the church we are now attending.  More churches need to see the need to train parents and children how to worship together.

Gospel of Grace Church

Why are there children in the worship service? Doesn't your church have a special children's program for them?
We are a church that emphasizes "intergenerational" or "family-integrated" ministry. The Bible teaches that parents are to be the foremost teachers of their children (Deut. 6:7; Proverbs 29:17; Ephesians 6:4), so as a church we attempt to support and assist (not replace) parents in that role. That is why we invite children to stay in the worship service and participate as they are able.

How can a young child understand what is going on?
The Bible talks about children asking parents questions (Exodus 12:26; Deut. 6:20), and the parents explaining and teaching (Exodus 12:27; Deut. 6:21-25). But if a child is not present in worship to observe, how will the child be able to ask their parents questions about worshipping God?

Won't they just disrupt the service?
Yes, indeed. We assume that a child unfamiliar with or unprepared to sit through an hour long service will most likely cause disruptions during the service. In order to assist parents through such disruptions, we have an area at the back of the church where parents can take a child. The glass doors can be closed if the child is noisy, and yet participation can continue since the area has speakers. After a time of "encouragement and training" most children will be able to sit still and learn about the Christian faith during the worship service. But in the meantime, while parents are in the process of training children to sit attentively during worship, we bless and thank God for their presence and little voices in worship.

Is there anything else I can do to help my child behave respectfully in church?   
Family worship times at home are ideal for learning and practicing this! If a child is old enough to understand the concept of using an "inside voice" (talking) versus an "outside voice" (yelling), the child will soon be able to understand that behavior during a worship service should be different than playing at home. If your child asks, "Why?", you'll be able to smile. Your child has just asked why we respect God...a great place to start teaching!

It is so much easier to send my children to a program designed for children, instead of putting all this effort into training them to behave well in an adult worship service. Isn't this putting too much emphasis on the children?                        
We are trying to strike a biblical balance between worshipping our children (which is idolatry) and neglecting our children (which is ungodly). The Bible clearly teaches that parents are to train up their children (Proverbs 22:6; Ephesians 6:4), and this training takes a lot of work. That is why our church positions itself alongside parents in order to assist them as they diligently struggle to train each child. Just as we desire to see people from all tongues, tribes, and nations bow the knee to Jesus Christ and worship Him, so too we desire every member of our families (including our children) to bow their knee to Christ and worship Him. Therefore, we strive in our commitment as a church to encourage families to worship together. 

 

Are Your Children Walking With the Wise?

by Rev. Scott Brown of NCFIC

In Proverbs 13:20, God commends those who seek out wisdom by walking with those who are wise. However, someone who spends his time with fools will be destroyed. In Proverbs 22:15, God says, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child.” Why then do people lump their children with other children, as a dominant source of companionship, such as during youth group? Is it for relationship? Is it so they can have fun? Is it because parents do not want to spend the time to train them? Is it because they want to worship without distraction?

Do you want your children to be wise? Put them in the company of biblically wise people. Do you want your children to be wise? Train them as it says in Deuteronomy 6:6-9. Do you want your children to be wise? Obey the Word of God and command them to seek wisdom with all of their heart. Model this for them, and seek that wisdom with your children.

Children Are a Gift From God

The Raunchy "Real" World

by Patrice Lewis

"You know, the older I get, the more I'm convinced I live in a fantasy world.

In this cheery little artificial la-la land where I reside, boys are young knights-in-training and girls are virtuous and feminine. Children do not long for new and creative ways to self-destruct, and they have no wish to create havoc in their parent's home. And when everyone grows up, they court, get married and have babies (in that order)."

"In the "real" world of modern America, girls are raunchy sexual creatures whose sole purpose from toddler-hood on up is to dress provocatively, adorn their bodies with tattoos, piercings and make-up, and whose sole goal in life, apparently, is to find out how many boys they can bed."

"If people could only stop bathing in the river of slime issuing from mainstream media sources and Hollywood, they might see there's a whole, huge subculture of teens who are growing up with old-fashioned virtues intact. This subculture is not only alive and well, it's thriving and growing."

Go to WND to read Patrice's article in its entirety. 

We Don’t Love Children, We Love Drywall

by Kelly Crawford, LAF
My brother and his wife just announced that they were expecting their third baby.  (Welcome to the world of “the large family”, bro!)

Someone asked about our parents’ reaction to the news.
“Oh, they’re very excited!”

To which the (Christian) someone responded,
“They have 50 grandchildren and they’re still excited?!” (That was sarcasm, by the way; they have 14.)

We know the reality behind the joke–“more is only better if you really value the thing multiplying in your life“.  Money, accolades, vacations–we can’t get enough.  Cavities?  No more, thank you.

We say we love children, but we don’t put our money where our mouth is.

“How do  you afford all those children?” Is that question an attempt to relieve the conscience?  Or do we really dislike multiplication so much we want to make the parents feel guilty? All the while, we’re borrowing money for bigger houses and get high fives for that.  As Kevin Swanson says:  “We LOVE drywall!”

“The very analogy of Christian marriage is to demonstrate fruitfulness just as we expect the church to multiply and fill the earth.  How can we wish for our churches to grow and our families to shrink?”

I’m not talking here of splitting hairs over when and if it’s ever OK to prevent children; we’re way beyond that.  I’m asking, “do we share the heart of God about children or don’t we”? Do we echo what Scripture says about a growing family?  We’ve got to ‘fess up to the idea that generally speaking, Christians do not act like they believe in the blessing of children, nor do they act like they believe that God is the author of life.  Because once we do, it changes what we say and how we live.

If we value life over material things (to which any Christian would attest), why don’t we live like it?  Or talk like it?  After all, we don’t call ourselves “pro-some-lives Christians”.

“Honey! We’ve got to do something!  Our watermelons are growing prolifically–I mean there’s like 15 or 20 of them!  What will the neighbors say? “

Isn’t it reasonable to assume that we try to accumulate more of what we value?

Conversely, it’s reasonable to assume that we try to avoid things that we don’t value, or that cause us pain. That’s why we take medication to get rid of headaches and have surgeries to alleviate unwanted ailments.

We want bigger tvs, more square footage, more cars, more vacations, more money, more free time.  We will do anything for it. Work longer, harder, borrow money that isn’t ours, sacrifice relationships, even when it directly opposes the wisdom of Scripture.

“Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have.” Hebrews 13:5

We tend to ignore a lot of what the Bible says.

“Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.”

If Christians believed this, what would their response to a large family really be?

Comment after comment reveals our abhorrence of multiplying children, despite what the Bible teaches to the contrary.  We love one or two; After that, they decrease in value. And not just for our own families.  We abhor it in other families. I know.  I’ve seen their faces too many times.  I’ve heard people take the Lord’s name in vain upon hearing how many children I had. I’ve seen them look at my other children with sympathy–my children who ask almost daily, “When are we going to have another baby?” I’ve heard them question how we’ll feed them, as if they’ve never read Matthew 6.  These are Christians!  They all want to know if I know how to stop *it*….that “horrid multiplying of those things we don’t want more of”.

(No, it’s not just a personal choice or an issue of neutrality; what we believe about children and the womb has profound implications for a society, and those who don’t conform to the “new standard” feel that lack of neutrality like no one else.  It may be easy to believe that people think of birth control as a personal choice if you’re on the “controlling” end.  But those of us who aren’t know better.)

Since the Bible compares the fruitfulness of the womb to vegetation, why don’t we apply our logic there: “Honey! We’ve got to do something!  Our watermelons are growing prolifically–I mean there’s like 15 or 20 of them!  What will the neighbors say? ” (Hey, don’t you know what causes that?)

And to think, we talk thus of eternal, immortal souls–not watermelons–that God has graciously given from His hand to populate His Kingdom for His glory.

We don’t turn visitors away from our churches. Is it because we are really concerned with more souls in the Kingdom?  Because if that IS our main concern, there should be nothing more glorious to a saint’s ears than to hear that a Christian family has received another child to bring up for His glory–a treasure stored up for Heaven!

Is not a family the basic building block of a church?  The very analogy of Christian marriage is to demonstrate fruitfulness just as we expect the church to multiply and fill the earth.  How can we wish for our churches to grow and our families to shrink?  It’s illogical.

Yet we find every reason under the sun to avoid growing disciples in our homes–and to help others avoid it as well.  Shame tactics, scare tactics, insults, “advice” about being responsible ensure that the average Christian family will cut off the godly heritage before it’s “out of control”….hmmm…sounds like the work of an enemy to me.

As I’ve suggested many times before, the burden of proof shouldn’t lie upon those who receive their children.

Excited about another child or grandchild?

“Like arrows in the  hands of a warrior…”

A Kingdom-minded Christian is!

My Blessed Mother's Day

My children really blessed me this year with their thoughtfulness. My two younger daughters decorated some pots and filled them with herbs and flowers. They look beautiful and smell wonderful. I can't wait to start using my herbs:).

My second daughter typed a poem for me and put it on pretty paper. She also made a booklet with hand drawn portraits of mothers from the Bible. My youngest made me a skirt to match a vest that I had already made.

My son called me and sent me some delectable chocolate dipped strawberries. I could smell them before I even opened the package. My oldest daughter also sent me a Mother's Day greeting. I am so blessed.

My husband also blessed me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a Butterfinger candy bar. (sorry, no photo of the candy bar, we ate it the day he gave it to me:).

Parents Euthenize Their Own Children

Charlie Butts - OneNewsNow 


"A recent study reveals that a few physicians may have facilitated the deaths of terminally ill children at their parents' request.

The study was published in the March edition of the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine. Dr. Joanne Wolfe, a palliative pain specialist at Boston's Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and Children's Hospital, interviewed 141 parents of children who died of cancer.

"They had found out...in that study 19 of the parents had thought about having their child euthanized, 13 had actually talked about it seriously, five spoke to their physician about it, and in three cases, the parents said that the doctor agreed to give their child a lethal overdose and the child died," reports Alex Schadenberg, executive director of the Euthanasia Prevention Coalition (EPC)."

Unfortunately, this does  not come as a surprise to me. When you get comfortable with killing unborn babies, the next obvious step is to kill those outside of the womb who are a burden to society. May God have mercy on their souls. To read this article in its entirety go to One News Now.

Duggars: Baby 19, born premature, is ‘precious’ - TODAY People

Read about little Josie and see a video of her family and some photos of her. She has doubled her birth weight.

Duggars: Baby 19, born premature, is ‘precious’ - TODAY People

Friends for Our children

by Steve Maxwell of Titus2.com

"How do we teach our children to love others who choose a worldly path, but not embrace what they are doing and not condemn them?"

Every dad who understands the need to love others and yet has purposed to raise his children "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4) should be concerned about this. We want to show the love of Christ to all we come in contact with and teach our children to do the same. We should teach our children to shun what Scripture says is wrong and worldly but to embrace what is of the Lord. In doing so, our children will view others through our grid of teaching and deem their conduct, activities and dress as good, bad, or in between. It is a very difficult challenge for our children to choose to live for the Lord Jesus, but not be influenced by other's lifestyles and also not condemn them. "

To finish reading this article, go here.

A Blessing!!

Children are considered a blessing to the Lord.
Children really are a blessing.
I love being with children! I love watching them play together.
I enjoy watching little girls pretend to take care of there little babies.
I also enjoy watching little boys play with their cars and trucks.
God loves children.
Jesus loves children as well, "He said, Let the little children come to me."
I thank God that he created and blesses us with children!!

Children are a Blessing, not a carbon curse

"A leader in the Southern Baptist Convention says the argument that the world's carbon footprint should be limited by the number of children couples have is faulty and godless."

Click here to read the entire article.

The Economy is crashing because of---Children?

I am appalled at what I just read. You will have to read it for yourself. We must be in prayer for our political leaders, that God would get ahold of their hearts and turn them around. One of them is now blaming children for the problems our nation is having financially and recommends contraceptives is the answer. Where will this all end?

Matthew 19:14, "But Jesus said, " Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

Idols For Destruction

R.C. Sproul Jr.


I’m confident that many Christians have not slept well these last few nights. I suspect that tonight they won’t do much better. Over the last several days, as I write, the stock market has not performed well. It has reached a five year low, having lost over forty percent of its value since its peak. It is not difficult to muster sympathy in these difficult economic times. Forty percent is rather much to lose, though only slightly more than half of seventy percent.

I lose sleep at night not because Christians have lost forty percent of their investments. I lose sleep at night because Christians are losing seventy percent of their children. They spend their days in institutions where Jesus doesn’t matter. Seven hours a day, 180 days a year, Jesus doesn’t matter. I am not surprised that when they graduate Jesus doesn’t matter to them. The children of professing Christians who are schooled by the government are more likely than not to reject the faith. And we’re worried about our stock portfolios.

Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount that where our treasure is, there will our hearts be as well (Matt 6:21). Our treasure is in our treasure, rather than in our children. We lose our children by the millions, but only cry when we lose our millions. The Christian church is a willful band of idolaters. We send our wives off to work because we worship mammon. We send our children off to “free” schools rather than private schools where Jesus is honored because we worship mammon. And we mourn at the death of our mammon, rather than the death of our children’s’ souls.

Every time tragedy hits, Christians fall back on this same chestnut of wisdom- we pray that so and so will learn something important from all the suffering. My prayer is the same. My hope is that as God destroys the idols in His church, as He shows that He is almighty, rather than the almighty dollar, that His people will repent and turn to Him. My prayer is then that He might turn our hearts back to our children, that we might in turn raise them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. God could do this. Or, He could lead us into physical starvation, even as we have starved our own children of His Word.

The more likely scenario is this. Professing Christians will continue to cry out to Washington to be their savior. Washington will continue to fail. And some, a very few, but some will in their financial pain turn and repent. Narrow is the path of life, and wide is the way of destruction. Before you get on your knees, asking God to deliver us from financial calamity, confess your sins. Confess that all of us, even those who homeschool, value too much that which bears Caesar’s image, and to little that which bears His image. Then, do not ask Him to fix your portfolio. Ask Him to help you invest in the only investment that bears dividends into eternity, your children.

by RC Sproul Jr. of
http://www.highlandsstudycenter.org/index.php

Passing on the Flag to our Children

Edith Schaeffer wrote a wonderful article about passing off the flag of our faith to our children. This is a must read for ALL parents. It is lengthy, but well worth your time. If we don't pass off our faith to them then who will? God has given us the responsibility to train and nurture the children He has blessed us with. It is NO ONE else's responsibility but our's. We must take this responsibility seriously and not expect ANYONE else to do our job.

Children are a Blessing from the Lord

Watch this youtube video to see why children are a heritage from the Lord. (this video was submitted to Vision Forum, it is a keeper)

Protect our children

We MUST be in prayer for our nation as we go to the polls this fall. Here is one very big reason.

How Do We Keep Our Children Innocent?

Our children are not safe anywhere, not even the public library. I have not gone to our public library since we moved here, three years ago. I have either bought books or done without. This is only one example of what is happening at our libraries. I know about a year or so ago there was someone looking at pornography at the library, right where children were passing by. Everyone knows what it is like to take children to the supermarket, big box store or even book stores. Everywhere you look there is filth and vulgarity, lies and exploitation. I wouldn't dare take them to the beach or a swimming pool, they would get an eye full there. Of course, they would see almost as much just driving down the road or going to the mall. So I ask you, where can we go where our children will not be exposed to blatant sin? Where can we take them where they will not be exposed to people who like to expose themselves? Where can we go where they can retain their innocence?

Our Daughter's 4th Anniversay

Today is our Daughter and Son-in-law's 4th anniversary. Time sure flies. Congratulations, Nicole and Lee!! We love you both.

Lee & Nicole August 7th, 2004

All our children 2004

The Happy Couple just last week

What are the Characteristics of True Revival?

What are the characteristics of true revival? by RC Sproul

It seems another so called "revival" has sprung up in Lakeland , Florida .

Over the last semester of our Highlands Hall program, and during the previous semester of the Highlands Academy , the classes we offer to area homeschoolers, we read a great deal on church history. In both instances we noted this strange phenomenon. The people of God grow cold in their fervor for the Lord. A group within the church reacts against this, and comes up with a plan to stoke that fervor. There is, at first, some measure of success. Soon, however, we grow cold again. This is where the monastic movement came from. This is why and how universities were founded, first in Europe and later in America . This is where the camp meeting came from, followed by the establishment of “camp ministries.” This is where the great American evangelical fad machine (WWJD, Jabez’ prayer, Promise Keepers, 40 Days, ad nauseum) comes from. We noted that none of these institutions, plans or programs are called for in God’s Word.

I would argue that our pursuit of “revival” as an event falls into essentially the same category. It is good and right and proper that we should labor for, hope for, pray for both great numbers of conversions to the Christian faith, and for great leaps forward of spiritual growth among those who are already Christians. No one could be opposed to that. But the Bible is rather sparse in looking at this as though it were some kind of definable and measurable category. The Spirit, we are told, blows where it will. Did God move in an unusual way in mid-eighteenth century New England ? To be sure. Did God bless the ministries of John Wesley and George Whitefield? Of course He did. Did God blaze a trail across the prairie in the Second Great Awakening? Maybe. Was God bringing in the elect in Toronto twenty years ago? Probably not. My confidence level goes down as the use of self-conscious techniques and the visibility of sundry “signs” goes up.

The fruit of real revival is lost souls being saved, and found souls becoming more like Jesus. It is found in the decidedly unspectacular phenomenon of people repenting. The source of this blessing is the Holy Spirit. The only patterns I have been able to discern wherein we might expect to see the Spirit at work are these. First, the Spirit tends to move in a context of persecution. Signs and wonders are not signs of wonder. The blood of the martyrs, that’s where you’ll see the Spirit.

Secondly, and perhaps ironically, I believe we can expect to see the Spirit at work where we see Christians striving to live in peace and quietness with all men, as much as is possible. Consider these few statistics. Eighty percent of children of evangelical Christians attend the government’s schools. Eighty percent of them will leave the faith. Over the last twenty years, anywhere from half a million to two million evangelical families have taught their children in their homes. The overwhelming majority of these children walk in the way that they should go when they are grown. If these numbers are accurate, we are witnessing a silent revival right here in America . Taking back the schools is a failed and worldly technique. Taking back His children, that is changing everything. When we no longer render to Caesar the things that are God’s, our children, then we can expect to see revival.