Guys, It Matters Whom You Marry, Too

"Just as a woman must think carefully about a potential husband, you must be careful about a potential wife. Careful evaluation in a number of areas will save you a lifetime of frustration. Right now, you might think she’s pretty, or playful, or nice to you. It’s not enough. One pregnancy can alter a figure, responsibilities at home can reveal laziness, and a disagreement about money can turn her against you. The church in North America has many men who are hampered in their abilities and success because they were distracted by a pretty face who now seems to bring more trouble than bliss."

1.  It will impact your spiritual life
2.  It will impact your service in the church
3.  It will impact your reputation.
4.  It will impact your work life and finances
5.  It will impact your other relationships.
6.  It will impact your health.

To read this entire article go to The Christian Pundit.

 

On the Presidential Endorsement of Same-Sex Marriage

 For two decades the frog has been in the pot while the temperature has been slowly turned up. Yesterday, it was finally cooked and served to the American people in a sauce so thick as to cover the rancid flavor of the dish.

The process began with the Bush presidencies and their toleration for homosexuality. It was advanced in full by the Clinton Administration. It has now reached its logical zenith under Obama. So we should not be surprised by the official announcement that the President of the United States of America has finally declared to the world his opposition to the historical, common law and biblical meaning of marriage. President Obama may be remembered for many things, but few are as fundamental in its treason to his countrymen, to his oath of office and to the living God, then his decision to use the presidency to redefine a definition of marriage that was established on Day Six of Creation and has been the benchmark of civilization for 6,000 years.

Mark your calendars—May 9, 2012, the President of the United States of America finally crossed a line from which there is no return without repudiation and repentance. Terrorists are dangerous. The economy is a real and present danger. But there is simply nothing other then the holocaust of the unborn which imperils the safety of our country or places our people in jeopardy as does the leader of the Western world publicly raising his fist at the Heavens and declaring that the bedrock institution of society, ordained of God and meant to be protected by the state, is little more than a convention of convenience for the children of Sodom to transform the meaning of something which is precious to Jesus Christ and a living picture of His love for the Church, into a legally protected justification for perversion, and vehicle of hatred aimed directly at that love.

Doug Phillips, President Vision Forum Ministries

 

Dating Vs. Courtship

Thank you to Stacy McDonald at "Your Sacred Calling" for posting this.

God's Design for Union in Marriage

"In the sexual relationship we proclaim with our spouse that we truly are one and we declare our ongoing love and allegiance to one another. We affirm that we have given ourselves to one another in a whole and complete way. Sex proclaims, “I am yours. I am yours alone. I am committed to you to the end.” It is an ordinary means of grace to marriage through which we truly do strengthen our marriage and our bonds of love."

Read Tim Challies complete article at Challies.com

What a great follow-up to the perfect marriage from last.

A Picture-Perfect Marriage

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:31,32)

Here are links to a three part series on "A Picture-Perfect Marriage" by Tim Challies.
It is very well written and quite thought provoking. How is your marriage?

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

The Mutual Duties Of Husbands And Wives Towards Each Other

"Selfish ungodly persons everywhere enter into all kinds of relationships with a desire of serving their ownselves, and gratifying their own flesh without knowing or caring what is required of them. Their desire is for the honour, profit, or pleasure their relationship will provide them but not for what God and man requires or expects from them. [Gen 2:18, Prov 18:22] Their mind is concerned only with what they shall have and not for what they shall be and do. [1]

They know what they want others to do for them, but do not care what their duty is to do for others. This is the way it is with too many husbands and wives.

We should be very concerned to know what the duties of our relationships are. And how we can please God in our relationships. Study and do your part, and God will certainly do his."

Read this excellent article in its entirety over at Your Sacred Calling.
There is so much that isn't discussed before two people get married and once they are married there is little discussion on how to REALLY stay married.  What does God say in His Word to married couples?

Twelve indispensible pursuits that prepare the next generation for marriage

By Scott Brown, NCFIC

  1. The Sweetest harmony in marriage, Eph. 5:22-33
  2. The Gladdest embrace of God, Psalm 100
  3. The Thirstiest passion for the word of God, Ps. 119
  4. The Keenest inclination for repentance, Psalm 51
  5. The Hottest desire for holiness,1 Pet. 1:16
  6. The Quickest pursuit of reconciliation, Eph. 4:26
  7. The Highest investment in the church, Eph. 1:23, 5:32
  8. The Biggest vision for life, 1 Cor. 10:31
  9. The Liveliest zippiest daily life, Deut. 6:1-9
10. The Sharpest conception of marriage, Eph. 5:22-33
11. The Tightest embrace of biblical manhood and womanhood, Titus 2
12. The Strongest sense of the sovereignty of God, Dan. 4

The Raunchy "Real" World

by Patrice Lewis

"You know, the older I get, the more I'm convinced I live in a fantasy world.

In this cheery little artificial la-la land where I reside, boys are young knights-in-training and girls are virtuous and feminine. Children do not long for new and creative ways to self-destruct, and they have no wish to create havoc in their parent's home. And when everyone grows up, they court, get married and have babies (in that order)."

"In the "real" world of modern America, girls are raunchy sexual creatures whose sole purpose from toddler-hood on up is to dress provocatively, adorn their bodies with tattoos, piercings and make-up, and whose sole goal in life, apparently, is to find out how many boys they can bed."

"If people could only stop bathing in the river of slime issuing from mainstream media sources and Hollywood, they might see there's a whole, huge subculture of teens who are growing up with old-fashioned virtues intact. This subculture is not only alive and well, it's thriving and growing."

Go to WND to read Patrice's article in its entirety. 

Homily on Marriage

A selection from On Marriage and Family Life by St. John Chrysostom:

"Paul has precisely described for husband and wife what is fitting behavior for each: she should reverence him as the head and he should love her as his body. But how is this behavior achieved? That it must be is clear; now I will tell you how. It will be achieved if we are detached from money, if we strive above everything for virtue, if we keep the fear of God before our eyes. What Paul says to servants in the next chapter applies to us as well, ...knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same again from the Lord (Eph. 6:8). Love her not so much for her own sake, but for Christ's sake. That is why he says, be subject...as to the Lord. Do everything for the Lord's sake, in a spirit of obedience to Him. These words should be enough to convince us to avoid quarrels and disagreements. No husband should believe any accusation he hears from a third party about his wife, and vice versa; nor should a wife unreasonably monitor her huband's comings and going, provided that he has always shown himself to be above suspicion. And what if you devote the day to your work and your friends, and the evening to your wife; but she is still not satisfied, but is jealous for more of your time? Don't be annoyed by her complaints; she loves you, she is not behaving absurdly--her complaints come from her fervent affection for you, and from fear. Yes, she is afraid that her marriage bed will be stolen, that someone will deprive her of her greatest blessing, that someone will take from her him who is her head.

A wife should never nag her husband: "You lazy coward, you have no ambition! Look at our relatives and neighbors; they have plenty of money. Their wives have far more than I do." Let no wife say any such thing; she is her husband's body, and it is not for her to dictate to her head, but to submit and obey. "But why should she endure poverty?" some will ask. If she is poor, let her console herself by thinking of those who are much poorer still. If she really loved her husband, she would never speak to him like that, but would value having him close to her more than all the gold in the world....Furnish your house neatly and soberly. If the bridegroom shows his wife that he takes no pleasure in worldly excess, and will not stand for it, their marriage will remain free from the evil influences that are so popular these days."

To read the homily in its entirety go here.

Should We Chalk Up Another One for the Anti-Marriage Crowd?

"South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford is beginning to take on the look of a punching bag in the press these days (until he was rescued by the news of Michael Jackson’s death). After going A.W.O.L. over Father’s Day weekend, it was discovered that the Sanford was actually in Argentina with his mistress. Though it sounds like something from a James Bond movie (the governor being tracked via cell phone pings... his aids telling security to stop tracking him), the unfortunate reality is that this is an all-too-familiar tale of boy meets girl... boy marries girl... boy has four sons with girl... boy climbs the ladder of success... boy meets another girl... you know the rest."
To view the rest of this piece by Dr. Voddie Baucham, go to this link.

We MUST Pray!!

What He Must Be by Voddie Baucham Jr.

I have watched The Children of Caesar and read Family Driven Faith and The Ever-Loving Truth by Voddie Baucham Jr. Now I have read another MUST have book for every Christian parent, What He Must Be...If He Wants To Marry My Daughter. Voddie is an inspiration. I gain so much from what he writes and from his seminars. I truly am thankful for how he has allowed God to use him to enlighten us. I urge all parents who desire to see their children married to not only Christians, but to spouses who are prepared to lead and nurture their families, to read this book. You won't be sorry.

What Kind of Children?

Malachi 2:15 RSV, "Has not the one God made and sustained for us the spirit of life? And what does he desire? Godly offspring. So take heed to yourselves and let none be faithless to the wife of his youth. For I hate divorce, says the Lord the God of Israel."

God reveals His heart about marriage in the above Scripture. He wants the wife and husband to be one. He wants them to be faithful to one another. He does not want them to be divorced. And He makes His reason for saying this very clear. The disruption of marriage tampers with the godly offspring. The thing that God looks for in marriage more than anything else is godly children. This is His heart's desire. He looks eagerly for the coming children. This is His plan for marriage.

It is the nature of God to want children in His image. And because we were made in the likeness and image of God, it is inherent in mankind to want to have children in our image. We long to see who they will be like. And yet we now live in a distorted age. Couples have been so brainwashed by humanist deception that they often refuse to have children, or at least limit how many they have. They live counter-culture to God's kingdom and to their own instinctive design. While they live to their own desires, God waits with patience to see children born in His image. Grandparents wait to continue the godly dynasty.

Each new precious baby is created in the image of God and He wants His image multiplied in the earth.

But even more challenging is that it is not just offspring that God looks for. No, it is godly offspring. The margin in my Bible says, "the seed of God." What kind of children are the seed of God? It is even more challenging again when we find that the Hebrew word is elohim. As you know, the name Elohim is one of the names of God, the first name that God introduces himself to us in Genesis 1:1. This is only one name of God and it occurs 2,570 times in the Bible.

Elohim is used 35 times in Genesis 1:1 to 2:4 revealing God's creative and governing power. He created this vast universe by His spoken word. Elohim is the one who brought "cosmos out of chaos, light out of darkness, habitation out of desolation, and life in His image." (Nathan Stone) Because we are created in His image, we also have the ability to create. God has put into our mouths the power of the spoken word. We can minister life or death by our tongue. (Proverbs 18:21) God wants us (and each new babe that is born) to create and speak for His kingdom and His glory. He wants the godly offspring to fill the earth with His words, His truth and His character.

Elohim also reveals God as a covenant keeping God. There are many Scriptures revealing this but here are a few.

Genesis 17:7, "I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God (Elohim) unto thee, and to thy seed after thee."

Genesis 9:15-17, "And I will remember my covenant... And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature..."

On Joseph's death bed he said, "God will surely visit you, and bring you out of this land unto the land which he sware to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob." (Genesis 50:24)

When Solomon dedicated the temple he prayed, "There is no God like thee, in heaven above, or on earth beneath, who keepest covenant and mercy with thy servants that walk before thee with all their heart." (1 Kings 8:23)

Elohim is a covenant-keeping God. He wants us to also manifest covenant keeping. This is how we reveal the image of Elohim. He wants each godly offspring to be a covenant-keeper. It is interesting that God talks about the godly seed coming forth in the context of a covenant keeping marriage. Malachi 2:14 RSV says, "The Lord was witness to the covenant between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant."

It is not having lots of children that will solve the world's problems. It is having godly children who will impact the nations for God. May God enable us to welcome the godly seed and train them to truly reveal the character of Elohim. There is no career that can come anywhere near the enormity and power of this vision.

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL (from Above Rubies)

PRAYER:

"Oh God, please help me to be a faithful covenant-keeper and to train my children to be the same."

AFFIRMATION:

I have the awesome privilege to raise the "seed of God."

Are we preparing our daughters, from a young age, to be wives and mothers?

by Mrs. Anna T. of Domestic Felicity

Recent discussions, some reading and a few emails I received got me pondering about what is an appropriate age for marriage. Obviously, this is not a black and white issue, as I heard both from 30-year-old women who are terrified of commitment, and 16-year-old girls who feel fully prepared and willing to enter the covenant of marriage.

The more I thought about it, the more convinced I became that the question should be, in fact, worded differently. Not "how young is too young?", but rather, "are we doing enough in order to prepare for marriage and family life from a young age?"

To me, the answer is pretty much obvious. Most young women are woefully unprepared for marriage. And I'm not even talking about the prevalent ineptitude in the realm of housekeeping - even though it is kind of sad when a 20-year-old woman doesn't know how to operate a washing machine, can't boil an egg to save her life and even prides herself for her complete disdain for housework. Just so you don't think I'm pointing my finger at someone else, I'm talking about myself a couple of years ago.

You can learn the basics of cleaning and cooking pretty quickly if there's need to. What is more difficult to reverse is an entire lifetime of secular education that draws the young girl's heart away from home, from her family, from taking care of others, and from every feminine pursuit that might be beneficial for her as a future wife. This is the world's attitude, and it obviously takes effort, alertness and diligence on the parents' side if they are determined to show their daughters a different path.

Furthermore, young women are often terrified of all the aspects of pregnancy, birth and parenthood. Not long ago, I attended a small highschool reunion. One of my old highschool friends looked at my round tummy and asked, her eyes practically widening with fear, "does it hurt?"; another friend, who called me today, asked if I'm on bed rest. Others have asked how come I'm not under supervision 24/7. Obviously, with all its possible discomforts, normal pregnancy is not an illness and is not supposed to make you incapacitated. So far, my pregnancy has been, perhaps, 5% pain and discomfort, and 95% joy and delight. But how will you ever know, if you are an only child (or, at best, one of two children), and grew up in a system of age-segregated institutionalized education, without seeing pregnant women or ever cuddling a baby?

A lot is talked about how dangerous is it to enter marriage before you are ready. Yet purposefully delaying marriage can be a source of frustration, loneliness, future difficulty in finding your match and adjusting to life together, possible difficulty in having children as the woman becomes older, and a huge stumbling block to remaining chaste.

I remember one girl in my highschool who came from a very traditional family. She got married at the beginning of her senior year, and had a baby by the end of it. She was seen by everyone as a "lost case", as someone who has caused irreparable damage to her future. The terrible irony of it was that we were surrounded by young girls who hopped from one meaningless dating relationship to the next, who became promiscuos, caught STDs, had abortions, and became emotionally crippled for the rest of their lives. But somehow, that wasn't viewed in the light of its true horror - while early marriage and motherhood were considered an obvious tragedy.

Of course, as long as "independence", "self-sufficiency", "self-development" and other "selfs" are glorified to the point of drowning out everything else, and as long as young women and men are encouraged to not even think in the direction of preparing for marriage and parenthood as teenagers, we will remain unprepared and the vague term of "too young to get married" will become a common description of just about anyone under 30.