Monday, June 7, 2010

Nursing Homes and Day Cares

(used with permission)
Vickie Matthews, writes...

"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you."

My mother-in-law just spent two weeks in a local rehab after three months of in and out of hospital visits. I have to say that it was clean and full of cheerful people who were trying their best for the most part to care diligently for the occupants. She came home on Saturday. On Friday she was a wreck for she didn't believe that we would come for her. Why? Because so many others there were told the same thing and they did not come back for them.

She was so relieved to be home. While the place was clean and bright, it was an artificial environment. It is NOT a family situation as the LORD created for His people. I think of what Yeshua said about the hired hand in John 10:12-13, "He who is a hired hand, and not a shepherd, who is not the owner of the sheep, sees the wolf coming, and leaves the sheep and flees, and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. He flees because he is a hired hand and is not concerned about the sheep."

My mother-in-law was upset as they washed her each day. Some were so rough she felt violated. One day she was brought to the shower with several other ladies. She was mortified as they all sat there naked. The thought made me think of concentration camps. What about dignity and modesty? Each night she HAD to give up her hearing aids. They said it was to keep them from being lost or stolen. In the morning she had to wait till they could bring them to her.

These people were not mean, just doing a job. One day a young aide was trying to get them interested in "trivia". But they sat there, slumped in wheelchairs. Most devastating of all is the lack of hope. I thought of how in the beginning of Dante's Inferno (the book) the gates to Hell said "Abandon all hope ye who enter here."

I thought about how the commandment says to honor our fathers and mothers. Yet the question is, are we really when so many and in growing in numbers are being placed in homes? We soothe our conscience by having "nursing home" ministries--go in a day here or there and go home feeling good.

I thought a friend's mom who had cared for the grandmother for years and years 'till she died last spring. How could she do otherwise she said. .

It is the same today with many children who are dumped into daycares. Nowhere in the Bible does it say to do such a thing! God has no alternative but families. Has not love grown cold when we think we can shove those who need constant care into the hands of strangers? What is the better witness for the LORD? Which exemplifies John 15:3, "Greater love has no one than this, than one lay down his life for his friends."

The LORD doesn't ask many to physically die but He does ask us to put others first. If we put in the same effort as others do in their jobs, what a difference it would make! I have long thought that each young woman should have practical nursing skills as part of their education.

Obama's healthcare makes provisions to ration seniors. I know that my mother-in-law has cost 10s of thousands in the past few months. So there is logic in it. Worldly logic that is! Logic, that as a cousin years ago told me, that it was best for her children to grow in daycare for she had her own life to live.

I have watched people over the years work like crazy for houses, cars, security etc. I have rarely seen them work to have the mother return to the home to care for their own children and elderly. How can an elderly person be cared for as they should if the woman is out of the home? When did the dollar become more valuable than family life? It is ironic that there are those who won't care for their own family, but will care for others if paid for it.

I was taught and have taught my children that family takes care of family. Love freely does what money can't buy. I think of Yeshua who gave His mom into the care of the disciple John who took her into his own home, who said in Mark 7:11 He was also saying to them, "You are experts at setting aside the commandment of G-d in order to keep your tradition. For Moses said, "Honor your Father and Your Mother"; and "He who speaks evil of Father or Mother is to be put to death; But you say, "if a man says to his father or his mother, whatever I have that would have helped you is Corban (that is to say given to G-d); You no longer permit him to do anything for his father or his mother; thus invalidating the Word of G-d by your traditions which you have handed down and you do many such as that.

PS Vickie wrote me and told a little more about her MIL.
" mil just spent 3 weeks in the hospital with Congestive heart and kidney failure. She is now home again and doing very well thanks be to the LORD! I am a blessed woman. This evening was her 88th birthday. Now a party is planned for next week but 4 of my 8 children were here, 2 of the great grandchildren. It was such a blessing to me to see all around the table. My mil coaxing Emma 3 to eat her dinner. "One potato, two potato, three potato, FOURRRR!!! Emma would open her mouth and eyes wide to receive the forkful! All gathered around my mil to sing Happy Birthday as we gave her a small piece of sugar free cheesecake with 2 candles on it. 2 because she is a "double diget!" LOL"

1 comment:

mpence said...

It is so true! While many people feel guilty at first with putting a loved one in a nursing home, most do not think twice about giving their children to someone else to raise while they are busy pursuing their own life!