Wednesday, August 17, 2011

God and Lawn Care



(here is something I found on Patrice Lewis' blog, good for a laugh today!)

God said: "Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees, and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles."

St. Francis: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

God: Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

St. Francis: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

God: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

St. Francis: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it - sometimes twice a week.

God: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

St. Francis: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

God: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

St. Francis: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

God: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

St. Francis: Yes, Sir.

God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

St. Francis: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

God: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life.

St. Francis: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

God: No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?

St. Francis: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

God: And where do they get this mulch?

St. Francis: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

God: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?

St. Catherine: It's called 'Dumb and Dumber,' Lord. It's a story about...

God: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Five Things a Youth Ministry Can Be Transformed Into


(found at NCFIC)

Fred Wolfe
If you have not read Scott Brown's article, The Greatest Untapped Evangelistic Opportunity Before the Modern Church, I would highly recommend visiting it after reading these points:
1. Begin a mentorship program for men. If there will be a spark of reformation in the church and family, it will start with the reformation of the lives of it’s men. A godly man will be influential in the lives of his wife and children, and will lead them before the altar of God on a daily basis.
2. Teach young married couples how to raise a family. Let’s face it, the 60’s and 70’s has produced a generation that trusts Dr. Spock more than the inerrant Word of God when it comes to child rearing. A church would do well to help couples set their homes in order right from the start. Unlearning all of the cultural bad habits will take some time, but it will reap a harvest for generations.
3. Divert the money that was to be spend on youth ministry. All the funds raised for trips and parties, could be used to support orphans and widows in their time of distress. This includes Christian, repentant single mothers, who want to stay under the covering of the church and raise their children, but have no way of financially doing so. If the church would place this as a priority, it could produce vast changes in the landscape of modern youth.
4. Hit the streets with full family outreach. Take whole families to distribute food at a homeless shelter, visit nursing homes, pass out gospel tracts in the city. Don’t let the children just hear the stories from the pulpits; let them see their fathers doing it in front of them.
5. Take in interns. There are going to be plenty of young men who want to see how a family integrated church is properly run and how family worship is conducted. Take them into your homes and walk closely beside them. Make quality discipleship, according to the Scriptures, a priority.
Fred Wolfe trained for Ministry at Johnson University and preached as an Emergent Church pastor for ten years before submitting to reformed theology and a true gospel. Fred is also a former youth minister, published poet, writer, and blogger. He is the father of five children and has been married for 15 years.



Where Are Our Freedoms Going? or Is This STILL the United States of America?


(thank you to Enola Gay at Paratus Familia for making us aware of this)

No people will tamely surrender their Liberties, nor can any be easily subdued, when knowledge is diffused and Virtue is preserved. On the Contrary, when People are universally ignorant, and debauched in their Manners, they will sink under their own weight without the Aid of foreign Invaders.
Samual Adams
Liberty Alert
Reader Terry from FL, alerted me to a handout produced by the FBI for Surplus stores.  Apparently, our illustrious Federal Bureau of Investigations has determined that patrons of Army/Navy surplus stores are a potential terrorist threat.  They have directed surplus store owners and employees to report suspicious activity such as:


  • Buying items in bulk
  • Purchasing waterproof ammunition and match cases
  • Buying Meals Ready to Eat (MRE's)
  • Purchasing gas masks, night flashlights etc.
The FBI has also encouraged surplus stores to:
  • Require valid ID for all new customers
  • Keep track of purchases
  • Make note of suspicious people/vehicles
They close their "Communities against Terrorism" flyer with:

Preventing terrorism is a community effort. By learning what to look for, you can make a positive contribution in the fight against terrorism. The partnership between the community and law enforcement is essential to the success of anti -terrorism efforts.
Some of the activities, taken individually, could be innocent and must be examined by law enforcement professionals in a larger context to  determine whether there is a basis to investigate. The activities outlined on this handout are by no means all-inclusive but have been compiled from a review of terrorist events over several years.
So in other words, you might not be smart enough to determine evil intent, but "they" are! This is a Liberty Alert if I have ever seen one.  It smacks of theFusion Centers springing up in communities all over America.  If you would like to read the FBI flyer in it's entirety go to OathKeepers - they are watching out for the Constitution and the people.  Thank you for the link Terry!



Wednesday, August 10, 2011

A Web Site With Links to Home Remedy Sites

Here is a great web site if you are interested in home made remedies for illnesses and ailments.  There are 40 different sites linked here.