Biblical Submission and How Godly Women Do It

"There are many paradoxes in the Bible:
~the last shall be first... ~the greatest of all is the servant of all... ~if you lose your life, you will find your life, to name a few. And submission is another one of these paradoxical things.

Some people think submission implies weakness, doormat-ishness. Actually, the reverse is true: submission is hard and it takes great strength of character. It's not the weak women who submit
respectfully, it's the strong ones. In submission we find strength and favor with God.

Isaiah 30:15 “For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel,
"In repentance and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength."

Psalm 33:18 “Behold, the eye of the LORD is upon them that fear him, upon them that hope in his mercy.”

1Timothy 1:18-19 “…wage the good warfare, holding faith and a good conscience. By rejecting this, some have made shipwreck of their faith”

Knowing we have obeyed, we have a clear conscience. Letting someone else in control makes it seem we have no influence over anything. Submission gives us great influence with our husbands. It's our best hope to win our husbands when they are in error. Your motive is not manipulation of Him but obedience to God. You obey regardless of husband’s response.

These two things will help us submit: 1. taking every thought captive to Christ's submission and obedience to His father's will. 2. realizing that our hope is in God to bring His will to pass and make all things work together for good for us. "

Here is an excerpt from a night of teaching by Victoria Botkin. To read the entire article, go to the Seppi Blog.

They also have notes from her other nights of teachings, "All About Eve"
and "All About Love"

What Does God Expect of Women?

I have heard so many things over the years about what God expects of women, but unfortunately most of it was taken out of context from the Bible or was taken more from the world’s standard (feminism). I have been doing a lot of studying over the past four years of what God expects of me, why He created me and now I have decided to share it.
I will start with the beginning. Why did God create me, or why did He create women? In Genesis 2:18, 21-22, God said “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone I will make him a helper suitable (corresponding to) for him.” “So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place. And the Lord God fashioned (built) into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.” So we see that the woman was created to be a suitable helper, she was equipped, prepared, perfect for supporting her husband in his work. And because God has not rescinded that purpose for creating women, we can reason that that is the still why women are being created, because it is not good for the man to be alone and he needs a suitable helper (help meet).
In Ephesians 5:22-24, we see that it says “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, (notice it doesn’t say you are to be subject to other men, just your OWN husband) as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Saviour of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” (Surely God doesn’t really mean we are to be subject to them in EVERYTHING, He must mean only in some things, or the things I feel like being subject to or just the things that I agree with, or, or, or…) We are also shown in 1 Corinthians 11:3, how God ordered humanity, “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.”
If that isn’t enough, it is also mentioned in Colossians 3:18, “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”
We find in Timothy a lot about being a wife and women of the Lord. In 1 Timothy 2:9-14, it says “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, (does God REALLY care what I wear?), modestly (with modesty, bashfulness toward men) and discreetly (self controlled), not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments; but rather by means of good works, as befits women making a claim of godliness. (it doesn’t mean that we can’t braid our hair, but that we shouldn’t spend a good deal of our time doing our hair and making ourselves LOOK good, but we should spend our time and energy more on what we do for others, then with how our hair looks). Let a woman quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. (Here again we see that submissiveness is complete, not partial, but ENTIRE.) But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being quite deceived, fell into transgression.” 1 Timothy 3:11, says “Women must likewise be dignified (honorable, honest), not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things.” We also find in 1 Corinthians 14:34-35, “Let the women keep silent in the churches; for they are not permitted to speak, but let them subject themselves, just as the Law also says. And if they desire to learn anything, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is improper (disgraceful) for a woman to speak in church.”
Titus 2 is quite explicit on what God wants women to be doing and how they should act. Titus 2:3-5, “Older women likewise are to be reverent (holy) in their behaviour, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, that they may encourage (train) the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored (blasphemed).” Is there any doubt that God wants women to be at home taking care of their husbands and loving them, loving their children, taking care of their homes and training their daughters to do likewise?
I have a long way to go, but I am understanding more and more what God expects of me and I am attempting to put into practice what I am learning from His Word and training others to do likewise.

12 Things You Should Not Do To Your Husband

(I read this on Doug Philip's blog for August 22nd, 2008)

Gracious ladies, enter here. Vicious man-haters, beware. Camilia Brown is in the house, and her words are health to the homemaker, but hateful to the rapacious feminist. Camilla is part of the league of gracious, responsible lady bloggers, and the following is from an article entitled “12 Things You Should Not Do To Your Husband.” Read at your own risk:

DO NOT treat your husband as one of your children. You are not running the household he is. So no matter how busy you think you are or how many tasks you might have to perform at once you should not address your husband in this way: “Honey come here! Do this! Hold that! Grab this! Deal with this or that!”. Now I am all for asking our husbands for help when he is available to give it, but bossing him around is not becoming to a wife. We must conduct ourselves as his help meet and not treat him as if the reverse were true.

DO NOT act as if you are more spiritual than he is. I honestly have a hard time with women who act as if they are the spiritual leaders of their family; as if they are doing all the spiritual reformation in the family while their husbands are busy with other pursuits and just tag along with regard to spiritual matters. We’ve all heard women say things like: ” Well God told me this is the best for our family so I had to take the decision, because my husband is not there yet... I am praying for him though!” Even if it were true that a woman might be more spiritual than her husband, this attitude is a usurpation of the authority that God has given the family. There is never room for this kind of behavior in a Christian home. Honestly, my thoughts are that women who set themselves up as spiritual gurus in the family and brag of being more spiritual or knowledgeable than anyone else have proved themselves to be the contrary.

DO NOT talk over him and in a gathering DO NOT talk more than he does. If he doesn’t talk much than talk even less. It is just not becoming to women to do all the talking as if they speak for the family.

DO NOT complain about him to others. Don’t make him look foolish in front of anyone and don’t talk about his weaknesses to anyone.

DO NOT compare him with other men. You married an individual with different qualities, different style and vision. He is not like anyone else. He is the man that God has given you the task of loving and serving, and you should consider it an honor to be able to carry out that duty. Note to unmarried ladies: Make a list with the qualities a future husband MUST have to avoid your being totally dissatisfied. If it was not that important before you got married don’t nag him or be dissatisfied about it after you get married.

DO NOT nag him continuously about a matter. Did you hear the expression? DRIP! DRIP! DRIP!? I don’t like it when the children come even close to being drips, so I am sure no husband would appreciate it either.

DO NOT make him feel he doesn’t measure up to your expectations. Encourage, don’t criticize and most important...be content!

DO NOT be afraid to bring to his attention sins that he should deal with or concerns that you might have in regard to his conduct. It is a wife’s duty to encourage her husband in his spiritual growth. While it is not the wife’s duty to assume the role of her husbands conscience, she is the closest to him and can encourage him grow in ways that others cannot. Our husbands must trust that we are help meets to them and that we are honest and sober minded in our reproof.

DO NOT always speak your mind. This doesn’t mean we should not have an opinion, but most of the time it is better to hold our tongues rather than “state the facts”. Choose your words carefully in soberness, patience, and love. This does not mean that it is wrong to be open with your husband about your concerns or being honest when he asks our opinion. There is a greater respect and trust that your husband will show toward your opinion when you find this balance.

DO NOT seek out parallel lives with him. Become acquainted with whatever job he does and get involved if possible; even if by just listening to him talk about it. Don’t think about your husband’s pursuits in terms of: HIS career, HIS hobbies, HIS this or HIS that. I hear women say: “well he is busy with his pursuits and I with the children”. Yes we have different roles but we work together towards the same goal: to Glorify God in every area of our lives. You can’t be a proper help meet for your husband if you are not involved in everything he is doing whether you are interested or not.

DO NOT become too busy to listen to him or do things for him. When you start to have lots of children it can become really easy to do this, but remember you are made to be a help meet for him.

DO NOT let your appearance go because you have married him now. Make yourself pretty for him. Yes he loves you no matter what, but you made sure that you showed him that you care enough to look nice for him before you were married, you should care more, not less, after he actually becomes your husband. It is not a matter of keeping his affections, but rather continuing to give him all that we have to offer. 5 minutes a day is all it takes.

I have made my share of mistakes and still do. Many of them are listed above. I am still a work in progress, so please don’t take this to mean that I think I have arrived. I thought listing a few resolutions and observations, may be helpful to someone else.

Thank you, Camilia, for your courage and bold insights.

Posted by Doug Phillips on August 22, 2008 Permalink