By Scott T. Brown at D6 Reformation
1. Men protect women.
2. Men are leaders.
3. Men are responsible as heads of their families.
4. Men are to teach their children 24/7.
5. Men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and be willing to die for them.
6. Men are to be fruitful and multiply.
7. Men do not own their bodies. Their wives do.
8. Men must bring up their children in the training and admonition of the Lord.
9. Men must ensure that their whole families and everyone else around them should celebrate the Sabbath.
10. Men’s hearts should be turned toward their children.
Showing posts with label fathers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fathers. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Friday, October 14, 2011
How Fathers Transition Into Age-Integration
(Here is a great article in making the switch from age segregated worship to age integrated worship. It starts at home.--Lanita)
Posted by Jason Dohm on October 13, 2011 at NCFIC
Yessir, this is a topic I know a little about.
It was more than a decade ago that I was teetering on this precipice myself. Janet and I had decided to take our two young daughters and go participate in a family-integrated church plant. Mostly oblivious to what was ahead of us, I was extremely gung-ho, but I could tell that Janet had some unspoken reservations. I couldn't imagine what they were.
They were me. I was the unspoken reservation. When I drew it out of her, she sheepishly admitted that she was concerned that we might be moving on from a beloved church (albeit one with a flawed discipleship structure) only to have less discipleship anyway. What we had (with whatever flaws) was something, and she needed to be confident that it wasn't going to be replaced with nothing. Ouch. Double ouch. It pierced because it was legitimate. I knew me. She knew me. And we both knew that there was a lot of the love of the world still left in this young father, who had a track record to prove it.
Needless to say, it was "game on" (or maybe literally "game off", but more on that in a minute), not because I was resisting what she was saying, but because I was embracing it. It was now so clear in my mind, that with this move to a new church, I was now the difference between more discipleship for our family or less. And it wasn't going to be less.
It didn't happen all at once, but I did learn to be more and more faithful in my duty before God as a husband and father. I'm not claiming to be the ideal, but there has been real, significant progress. It has meant the world to the life of the Dohm family. I thank God that He has seen fit to bring us to this point, by making me feel the weight of my biblical calling.
Looking back, I have a few exhortations to fathers who are teetering on their own precipice:
Institute Family Worship Today
When God gives us light to walk by, we need to act - not tomorrow, today. In the category of family worship, skip the lengthy planning cycle, forget about the external helps from the Christian book store, and simply gather your wife and children to pray, read the Bible, discuss the text, and sing - today. I'm not against planning, I'm for it. I'm not against helps, I'm for them. What I'm against is putting off the most important thing in the life of your family until tomorrow, and then the next day, and then the next. This happens not because more time is needed to gather yourself for the mission, but because we all have the natural aversion to push beyond our comfort zone. It is better to be uncomfortable and a little incompetent today and to serve notice to your beloved comfort zone, than to chicken out with a transparent excuse. Don't worry. Every day, that you meet the challenge, you'll become a little more comfortable and a little more competent.
One note: If you haven't been leading family worship for your whole married life, understand that you may need to be patient with your wife. She is going to want to see that this is really a permanent change. Until she does, she might be lukewarm. Blame yourself and be patient.
Make That Practice the Immovable Rock in Your Daily Schedule
Deuteronomy 6:4-7 says, "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up."
What part of "You shall teach them diligently to your children" do we not understand? Until we are willing to fight hard to establish the pattern, we find that any little thing can bump family worship. Family worship must become that non-negotiable, immovable rock in the schedule, around which everything else rotates. Everything. Every single thing.
"My work schedule won't accommodate it." Shift your family schedule to make it work. Eat dinner at 8:00, put the kids to bed at 10:30, and let them sleep in to a later time. That could complete the schedule shift.
"That still doesn't work." Then find another job. Radically change your family budget, move into a trailer, and worship God there. “Seriously?" Seriously. Do it because you fear God. Do it for the joy that this established pattern - done rightly - inevitably brings. At the end of your days, you won't regret it.
Having this pattern firmly established will also make Sunday morning a lot better. Your kids will already know the drill, having been expected to sit quietly and attentively during family worship through the course of the week.
Decide to Grow Up
May I say a few things that everyone knows, but no one wants to say? Too many men are just large, hairy boys. When the Dohm family took the plunge and committed to our first family-integrated church, I was still a boy in so many ways - a thirty year old boy, but still a boy. I was a boy with a steady job and some church responsibilities, but still a boy - a Christian boy, but still a boy.
I was wasting volumes of time doing boyhood things. My wife needed a man for a husband, and my girls needed a man for a daddy. I knew I had to grow up. To my shame, it was long overdue. In a day when Christian leaders want to help us not waste our sports, they should back up, take a deep breath, and tell us not to waste our lives. We all have a window of time to teach our children diligently about our great, merciful, just, and holy God. That window is shorter than we ever imagined and is closing a little every day. Sideline that lawful, unprofitable stuff, and get going on things that matter.
Final Thought
There are many other things to say, but none of them are as important as these things - at least in my estimation and experience. If you get these things in order, the other things are accomplished readily enough. Without these things, the others don't matter anyway.
I know these things look daunting from the outside, but I want to tell you that they are so exhilarating from the inside. Give it a serious go, and I'll be proven right. You get a sense very early on that you were made for this: to rally your family around God and His word, so that they might come to know a mighty Redeemer and love Him in a deeper way.
Go for it, brothers. There is nothing like it.
Jason Dohm has been married to Janet for twenty years, with a wonderful result being six children ages five to sixteen. Following a lengthy career in electronics manufacturing, Jason now serves full-time as an elder of Sovereign Redeemer Community Church in Youngsville, NC. He graduated from University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in 1992 with a B.A. in education.
Posted by Jason Dohm on October 13, 2011 at NCFIC
Yessir, this is a topic I know a little about.
It was more than a decade ago that I was teetering on this precipice myself. Janet and I had decided to take our two young daughters and go participate in a family-integrated church plant. Mostly oblivious to what was ahead of us, I was extremely gung-ho, but I could tell that Janet had some unspoken reservations. I couldn't imagine what they were.
They were me. I was the unspoken reservation. When I drew it out of her, she sheepishly admitted that she was concerned that we might be moving on from a beloved church (albeit one with a flawed discipleship structure) only to have less discipleship anyway. What we had (with whatever flaws) was something, and she needed to be confident that it wasn't going to be replaced with nothing. Ouch. Double ouch. It pierced because it was legitimate. I knew me. She knew me. And we both knew that there was a lot of the love of the world still left in this young father, who had a track record to prove it.
Needless to say, it was "game on" (or maybe literally "game off", but more on that in a minute), not because I was resisting what she was saying, but because I was embracing it. It was now so clear in my mind, that with this move to a new church, I was now the difference between more discipleship for our family or less. And it wasn't going to be less.
It didn't happen all at once, but I did learn to be more and more faithful in my duty before God as a husband and father. I'm not claiming to be the ideal, but there has been real, significant progress. It has meant the world to the life of the Dohm family. I thank God that He has seen fit to bring us to this point, by making me feel the weight of my biblical calling.
Looking back, I have a few exhortations to fathers who are teetering on their own precipice:
Institute Family Worship Today
When God gives us light to walk by, we need to act - not tomorrow, today. In the category of family worship, skip the lengthy planning cycle, forget about the external helps from the Christian book store, and simply gather your wife and children to pray, read the Bible, discuss the text, and sing - today. I'm not against planning, I'm for it. I'm not against helps, I'm for them. What I'm against is putting off the most important thing in the life of your family until tomorrow, and then the next day, and then the next. This happens not because more time is needed to gather yourself for the mission, but because we all have the natural aversion to push beyond our comfort zone. It is better to be uncomfortable and a little incompetent today and to serve notice to your beloved comfort zone, than to chicken out with a transparent excuse. Don't worry. Every day, that you meet the challenge, you'll become a little more comfortable and a little more competent.
One note: If you haven't been leading family worship for your whole married life, understand that you may need to be patient with your wife. She is going to want to see that this is really a permanent change. Until she does, she might be lukewarm. Blame yourself and be patient.
Make That Practice the Immovable Rock in Your Daily Schedule
Deuteronomy 6:4-7 says, "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up."
What part of "You shall teach them diligently to your children" do we not understand? Until we are willing to fight hard to establish the pattern, we find that any little thing can bump family worship. Family worship must become that non-negotiable, immovable rock in the schedule, around which everything else rotates. Everything. Every single thing.
"My work schedule won't accommodate it." Shift your family schedule to make it work. Eat dinner at 8:00, put the kids to bed at 10:30, and let them sleep in to a later time. That could complete the schedule shift.
"That still doesn't work." Then find another job. Radically change your family budget, move into a trailer, and worship God there. “Seriously?" Seriously. Do it because you fear God. Do it for the joy that this established pattern - done rightly - inevitably brings. At the end of your days, you won't regret it.
Having this pattern firmly established will also make Sunday morning a lot better. Your kids will already know the drill, having been expected to sit quietly and attentively during family worship through the course of the week.
Decide to Grow Up
May I say a few things that everyone knows, but no one wants to say? Too many men are just large, hairy boys. When the Dohm family took the plunge and committed to our first family-integrated church, I was still a boy in so many ways - a thirty year old boy, but still a boy. I was a boy with a steady job and some church responsibilities, but still a boy - a Christian boy, but still a boy.
I was wasting volumes of time doing boyhood things. My wife needed a man for a husband, and my girls needed a man for a daddy. I knew I had to grow up. To my shame, it was long overdue. In a day when Christian leaders want to help us not waste our sports, they should back up, take a deep breath, and tell us not to waste our lives. We all have a window of time to teach our children diligently about our great, merciful, just, and holy God. That window is shorter than we ever imagined and is closing a little every day. Sideline that lawful, unprofitable stuff, and get going on things that matter.
Final Thought
There are many other things to say, but none of them are as important as these things - at least in my estimation and experience. If you get these things in order, the other things are accomplished readily enough. Without these things, the others don't matter anyway.
I know these things look daunting from the outside, but I want to tell you that they are so exhilarating from the inside. Give it a serious go, and I'll be proven right. You get a sense very early on that you were made for this: to rally your family around God and His word, so that they might come to know a mighty Redeemer and love Him in a deeper way.
Go for it, brothers. There is nothing like it.
Jason Dohm has been married to Janet for twenty years, with a wonderful result being six children ages five to sixteen. Following a lengthy career in electronics manufacturing, Jason now serves full-time as an elder of Sovereign Redeemer Community Church in Youngsville, NC. He graduated from University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill in 1992 with a B.A. in education.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Duties of the Master of a Family
By: John Bunyan (as found on NCFIC)
If thou have under thee a family, then thou art to consider the several relations thou standest under; and art to know, that thou in each of them hast a work to do for God, and that he expecteth thy faithful deportment under every one of them. As, in general;
Duty of the Family in General
He that is the master of a family, he hath, as under that relation, a work to do for God; to wit, the right governing of his own family. And his work is twofold. First, Touching the spiritual state thereof. Second, Touching the outward state thereof.
First, As touching the spiritual state of his family; he ought to be very diligent and circumspect, doing his utmost endeavour both to increase faith where it is begun, and to begin it where it is not. Wherefore, to this end, he ought diligently and frequently to lay before his household such things of God, out of his word, as are suitable for each particular. And let no man question his rule in the word of God for such a practice; for if the thing itself were but of good report, and a thing tending to civil honesty, it is within the compass and bounds even of nature itself, and ought to be done; much more things of a higher nature; besides, the apostle exhorts us to ‘Whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, pure, lovely, and of good report, to think of them,’ that is, to be mindful to do them (Phil 4:8). But to be conversant in this godly exercise in our family, is very worthy of praise, and doth much become all Christians. This is one of the things for which God so highly commended his servant Abraham, and that with which his heart was so much affected. I know Abraham, saith God, ‘I know him’ to be a good man in very deed, for ‘he will command his children, and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord’ (Gen 18:19). This was a thing also which good Joshua designed should be his practice as long as he had a breathing time in this world. ‘As for me,’ saith he, I ‘and my household, we will serve the Lord’ (Josh 24:15).
Further, we find also in the New Testament, that they are looked upon as Christians of an inferior rank that have not a due regard to this duty; yea, so inferior as not fit to be chosen to any office in the church of God. A [bishop or] pastor must be one that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God? ‘The deacon’ also, saith he, must ‘be the husband of one wife, ruling their children, and their own house well’ (1 Tim 3). Mark a little, the apostle seems to lay down thus much, that a man that governs his family well, hath one qualification belonging to a pastor or deacon in the house of God, for he that knoweth not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God? which thing considered, it giveth us light into the work of the master of a family, touching the governing of his house.
A pastor must be sound and uncorrupt in his doctrine; and indeed so must the master of a family (Titus 1:9; Eph 6:4).
A pastor should be apt to teach, to reprove, and to exhort; and so should the master of a family (1 Tim 3:2; Deut 6:7).
A pastor must himself be exemplary in faith and holiness; and so also should the master of a family (1 Tim 3:2-4; 4:12). ‘I,’ saith David, ‘will behave myself in a perfect way; I will walk in,’ or before, ‘my house with a perfect heart’ (Psa 101:2).
The pastor is for getting the church together; and when they are so come together, then to pray among them, and to preach unto them. This is also commendable in Christian masters of families.
Object. But my family is ungodly and unruly, touching all that is good. What shall I do?
Answer.
1. Though this be true, yet thou must rule them, and not they thee! Thou are set over them of God, and thou art to use the authority which God hath given thee, both to rebuke their vice, and to show them the evil of their rebelling against the Lord. This did Eli, though not enough; and thus did David (1 Sam 2:24, 25; 1 Chron 28:9). Also, thou must tell them how sad thy state was when thou wast in their condition, and so labour to recover them out of the snare of the devil (Mark 5:19).
2. Thou oughtest also to labour to draw them forth to God’s public worship, if peradventure God may convert their souls. Saith Jacob to his household, and to all that were about him, ‘Let us arise and go up to Bethel; and I will make there an altar unto God, who answered me in the day of my distress’ (Gen 35:3). Hannah would carry Samuel to Shiloh, that he might abide with God for ever (1 Sam 1:22). Indeed a soul rightly touched, will labour to draw, not only their families, but a whole city after Jesus Christ (John 4:28-30).
3. If they are obstinate, and will not go forth with thee, then do thou get godly and sound men to thy house, and there let the word of God be preached, when thou hast, as Cornelius, gathered thy family and friends together (Acts 10).
You know that the jailor, Lydia, Crispus, Gaius, Stephanus, and others, had not only themselves, but their families, made gracious by the word preached, and that some of them, if not all, by the word preached in their houses (Acts 16:14-34; 18:7, 8; 1 Cor 1:16). And this, for ought I know, might be one reason among many, why the apostles taught in their day, not only publicly, but from house to house; I say, that they might, if possible, bring in those in some family, which yet remained unconverted, and in their sins (Acts 10:24; 20:20, 21). For some, you know how usual it was in the day of Christ, to invite him to their houses, if they had any afflicted, that either would not or could not come unto him (Luke 7:2, 3; 8:41). If this be the way with those that have outward diseases in their families, how much more then, where there are souls that have need of Christ, to save them from death and eternal damnation!
4. Take heed that thou do not neglect family duties among them thyself; as, reading the word and prayer; if thou hast one in thy family that is gracious, take encouragement; nay, if thou art alone, yet know that thou hast both liberty to go to God through Christ, and also art at that time in a capacity of having the universal church join with thee for the whole number of those that shall be saved.
5. Take heed that thou suffer not any ungodly, profane, or heretical books, or discourse in thy house. ‘Evil communications corrupt good manners’ (1 Cor 15:33). I mean such profane or heretical books, &c., as either tend to provoke to looseness of life, or such as do oppose the fundamentals of the gospel. I know that Christians must be allowed their liberty as to things indifferent; but for those things that strike either at faith or holiness, they ought to be abandoned by all Christians, and especially by the pastors of churches, and masters of families; which practice was figured out by Jacob’s commanding his house, and all that was with him, to put away the strange gods from among them, and to change their garments (Gen 35:2). All those in the Acts set a good example for this, who took their curious books and burned them before all men, though they were worth fifty thousand pieces of silver (Acts 19:18, 19). The neglect of this fourth particular hath occasioned ruin in many families, both among children and servants. It is easier for vain talkers, and their deceivable works, to subvert whole households, than many are aware of (Titus 1:10, 11). Thus much touching the spiritual state of thy household. And now to its outward.
Second, Touching the outward state of thy family, thou art to consider these three things.
That it lieth upon thee to care for them that they have a convenient livelihood. ‘If any man provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel’ (1 Tim 5:8). But mark, when the Word saith, thou art to provide for thy house, it giveth thee no license to distracting carefulness; neither doth it allow thee to strive to grasp the world in thy heart, or coffers, nor to take care for years or days to come, but so to provide for them, that they may have food and raiment; and if either they or thou be not content with that, you launch out beyond the rule of God (1 Tim 6:8; Matt 6:34). This is to labour, that you may have wherewith ‘to maintain good works for necessary uses’ (Titus 3:14). And never object, that unless you reach farther, it will never do; for that is but unbelief. The word saith, ‘That God feedeth ravens, careth for sparrows, and clotheth the grass;’ in which three, to feed, clothe, and care for, is as much as heart can wish (Luke 12:6-28).
Therefore though thou shouldest provide for thy family; yet let all thy labour be mixed with moderation; ‘Let your moderation be known unto all men’ (Phil 4:5). Take heed of driving so hard after this world, as to hinder thyself and family from those duties towards God, which thou art by grace obliged to; as private prayer, reading the scriptures, and Christian conference. It is a base thing for men so to spend themselves and families after this world, as that they disengage their heart to God’s worship. Christians, ‘The time is short: it remaineth that both they that have wives be as though they had none; and they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that use this world, as not abusing it; for the fashion of this world passeth away’ (1 Cor 7:29-31). Many Christians live and do in this world, as if religion were but a by-business, and this world the one thing necessary; when indeed all the things of this world are but things by the by; and religion only the one thing needful (Luke 10:40-42).
If thou wouldst be such a master of a family as becomes thee, thou must see that there be that Christian harmony among those under thee, as becomes that house where one ruleth that feareth God.
(1.) Thou must look that thy children and servants be under subjection to the word of God; for though it is of God only to rule the heart, yet he expecteth that thou shouldest rule their outward man; which if thou dost not, he may in a short time cut off all they stock, [even every male] (1 Sam 3:11-14). See therefore that thou keep them temperate in all things, in apparel, in language, that they be not gluttons, nor drunkards; not suffering either thy children vainly to domineer over thy servants, nor they again to carry themselves foolishly towards each other.
(2.) Learn to distinguish between that injury that in thy family is done to thee, and that which is done to God; and though thou oughtest to be very zealous for the Lord, and to bear nothing that is open transgression to him; yet here will be thy wisdom, to pass by personal injuries, and to bury them in oblivion: ‘Love covereth a multitude of sins.’ Be not then like those that will rage and stare like madmen, when they are injured; and yet either laugh, or at least not soberly rebuke, and warn, when God is dishonoured. ‘Rule thy own house well, having thy children with others in thy family in subjection, with all gravity’ (1 Tim 3:4). Solomon was so excellent sometimes this way, that he made the eyes of his beholders to dazzle (2 Chron 9:3, 4). [7] But to break off from this general, and to come to particulars.
If thou have under thee a family, then thou art to consider the several relations thou standest under; and art to know, that thou in each of them hast a work to do for God, and that he expecteth thy faithful deportment under every one of them. As, in general;
Duty of the Family in General
He that is the master of a family, he hath, as under that relation, a work to do for God; to wit, the right governing of his own family. And his work is twofold. First, Touching the spiritual state thereof. Second, Touching the outward state thereof.
First, As touching the spiritual state of his family; he ought to be very diligent and circumspect, doing his utmost endeavour both to increase faith where it is begun, and to begin it where it is not. Wherefore, to this end, he ought diligently and frequently to lay before his household such things of God, out of his word, as are suitable for each particular. And let no man question his rule in the word of God for such a practice; for if the thing itself were but of good report, and a thing tending to civil honesty, it is within the compass and bounds even of nature itself, and ought to be done; much more things of a higher nature; besides, the apostle exhorts us to ‘Whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, pure, lovely, and of good report, to think of them,’ that is, to be mindful to do them (Phil 4:8). But to be conversant in this godly exercise in our family, is very worthy of praise, and doth much become all Christians. This is one of the things for which God so highly commended his servant Abraham, and that with which his heart was so much affected. I know Abraham, saith God, ‘I know him’ to be a good man in very deed, for ‘he will command his children, and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord’ (Gen 18:19). This was a thing also which good Joshua designed should be his practice as long as he had a breathing time in this world. ‘As for me,’ saith he, I ‘and my household, we will serve the Lord’ (Josh 24:15).
Further, we find also in the New Testament, that they are looked upon as Christians of an inferior rank that have not a due regard to this duty; yea, so inferior as not fit to be chosen to any office in the church of God. A [bishop or] pastor must be one that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God? ‘The deacon’ also, saith he, must ‘be the husband of one wife, ruling their children, and their own house well’ (1 Tim 3). Mark a little, the apostle seems to lay down thus much, that a man that governs his family well, hath one qualification belonging to a pastor or deacon in the house of God, for he that knoweth not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God? which thing considered, it giveth us light into the work of the master of a family, touching the governing of his house.
A pastor must be sound and uncorrupt in his doctrine; and indeed so must the master of a family (Titus 1:9; Eph 6:4).
A pastor should be apt to teach, to reprove, and to exhort; and so should the master of a family (1 Tim 3:2; Deut 6:7).
A pastor must himself be exemplary in faith and holiness; and so also should the master of a family (1 Tim 3:2-4; 4:12). ‘I,’ saith David, ‘will behave myself in a perfect way; I will walk in,’ or before, ‘my house with a perfect heart’ (Psa 101:2).
The pastor is for getting the church together; and when they are so come together, then to pray among them, and to preach unto them. This is also commendable in Christian masters of families.
Object. But my family is ungodly and unruly, touching all that is good. What shall I do?
Answer.
1. Though this be true, yet thou must rule them, and not they thee! Thou are set over them of God, and thou art to use the authority which God hath given thee, both to rebuke their vice, and to show them the evil of their rebelling against the Lord. This did Eli, though not enough; and thus did David (1 Sam 2:24, 25; 1 Chron 28:9). Also, thou must tell them how sad thy state was when thou wast in their condition, and so labour to recover them out of the snare of the devil (Mark 5:19).
2. Thou oughtest also to labour to draw them forth to God’s public worship, if peradventure God may convert their souls. Saith Jacob to his household, and to all that were about him, ‘Let us arise and go up to Bethel; and I will make there an altar unto God, who answered me in the day of my distress’ (Gen 35:3). Hannah would carry Samuel to Shiloh, that he might abide with God for ever (1 Sam 1:22). Indeed a soul rightly touched, will labour to draw, not only their families, but a whole city after Jesus Christ (John 4:28-30).
3. If they are obstinate, and will not go forth with thee, then do thou get godly and sound men to thy house, and there let the word of God be preached, when thou hast, as Cornelius, gathered thy family and friends together (Acts 10).
You know that the jailor, Lydia, Crispus, Gaius, Stephanus, and others, had not only themselves, but their families, made gracious by the word preached, and that some of them, if not all, by the word preached in their houses (Acts 16:14-34; 18:7, 8; 1 Cor 1:16). And this, for ought I know, might be one reason among many, why the apostles taught in their day, not only publicly, but from house to house; I say, that they might, if possible, bring in those in some family, which yet remained unconverted, and in their sins (Acts 10:24; 20:20, 21). For some, you know how usual it was in the day of Christ, to invite him to their houses, if they had any afflicted, that either would not or could not come unto him (Luke 7:2, 3; 8:41). If this be the way with those that have outward diseases in their families, how much more then, where there are souls that have need of Christ, to save them from death and eternal damnation!
4. Take heed that thou do not neglect family duties among them thyself; as, reading the word and prayer; if thou hast one in thy family that is gracious, take encouragement; nay, if thou art alone, yet know that thou hast both liberty to go to God through Christ, and also art at that time in a capacity of having the universal church join with thee for the whole number of those that shall be saved.
5. Take heed that thou suffer not any ungodly, profane, or heretical books, or discourse in thy house. ‘Evil communications corrupt good manners’ (1 Cor 15:33). I mean such profane or heretical books, &c., as either tend to provoke to looseness of life, or such as do oppose the fundamentals of the gospel. I know that Christians must be allowed their liberty as to things indifferent; but for those things that strike either at faith or holiness, they ought to be abandoned by all Christians, and especially by the pastors of churches, and masters of families; which practice was figured out by Jacob’s commanding his house, and all that was with him, to put away the strange gods from among them, and to change their garments (Gen 35:2). All those in the Acts set a good example for this, who took their curious books and burned them before all men, though they were worth fifty thousand pieces of silver (Acts 19:18, 19). The neglect of this fourth particular hath occasioned ruin in many families, both among children and servants. It is easier for vain talkers, and their deceivable works, to subvert whole households, than many are aware of (Titus 1:10, 11). Thus much touching the spiritual state of thy household. And now to its outward.
Second, Touching the outward state of thy family, thou art to consider these three things.
That it lieth upon thee to care for them that they have a convenient livelihood. ‘If any man provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel’ (1 Tim 5:8). But mark, when the Word saith, thou art to provide for thy house, it giveth thee no license to distracting carefulness; neither doth it allow thee to strive to grasp the world in thy heart, or coffers, nor to take care for years or days to come, but so to provide for them, that they may have food and raiment; and if either they or thou be not content with that, you launch out beyond the rule of God (1 Tim 6:8; Matt 6:34). This is to labour, that you may have wherewith ‘to maintain good works for necessary uses’ (Titus 3:14). And never object, that unless you reach farther, it will never do; for that is but unbelief. The word saith, ‘That God feedeth ravens, careth for sparrows, and clotheth the grass;’ in which three, to feed, clothe, and care for, is as much as heart can wish (Luke 12:6-28).
Therefore though thou shouldest provide for thy family; yet let all thy labour be mixed with moderation; ‘Let your moderation be known unto all men’ (Phil 4:5). Take heed of driving so hard after this world, as to hinder thyself and family from those duties towards God, which thou art by grace obliged to; as private prayer, reading the scriptures, and Christian conference. It is a base thing for men so to spend themselves and families after this world, as that they disengage their heart to God’s worship. Christians, ‘The time is short: it remaineth that both they that have wives be as though they had none; and they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that use this world, as not abusing it; for the fashion of this world passeth away’ (1 Cor 7:29-31). Many Christians live and do in this world, as if religion were but a by-business, and this world the one thing necessary; when indeed all the things of this world are but things by the by; and religion only the one thing needful (Luke 10:40-42).
If thou wouldst be such a master of a family as becomes thee, thou must see that there be that Christian harmony among those under thee, as becomes that house where one ruleth that feareth God.
(1.) Thou must look that thy children and servants be under subjection to the word of God; for though it is of God only to rule the heart, yet he expecteth that thou shouldest rule their outward man; which if thou dost not, he may in a short time cut off all they stock, [even every male] (1 Sam 3:11-14). See therefore that thou keep them temperate in all things, in apparel, in language, that they be not gluttons, nor drunkards; not suffering either thy children vainly to domineer over thy servants, nor they again to carry themselves foolishly towards each other.
(2.) Learn to distinguish between that injury that in thy family is done to thee, and that which is done to God; and though thou oughtest to be very zealous for the Lord, and to bear nothing that is open transgression to him; yet here will be thy wisdom, to pass by personal injuries, and to bury them in oblivion: ‘Love covereth a multitude of sins.’ Be not then like those that will rage and stare like madmen, when they are injured; and yet either laugh, or at least not soberly rebuke, and warn, when God is dishonoured. ‘Rule thy own house well, having thy children with others in thy family in subjection, with all gravity’ (1 Tim 3:4). Solomon was so excellent sometimes this way, that he made the eyes of his beholders to dazzle (2 Chron 9:3, 4). [7] But to break off from this general, and to come to particulars.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Fatherhood as a Luxury, Not a Necessity
by: Armstrong Williams
We all should be absolutely alarmed by the current state of fatherhood in this country. It is terribly troubling that our society accepts fatherhood as a luxury, not a necessity. An involved, loving, active father has become the exception in this country, and it's time we make it the norm again.
On the surface, there are some things that only a father can provide his children. Although a mother is vital to a child's development, there are some activities that a dad just makes perfect. Shooting baskets or going ice skating becomes more than a bonding experience between father and child, it becomes a moment when boys learn how to carry themselves as men, how to strive for a goal, work hard, and strengthen their male personality. It becomes a moment when daughters learn how a man should properly treat a woman, interact with males, try their best, overcome adversity, and strive for their potential. There is little in life that can simulate these fathers – child moments that turn ordinary days into treasured lifelong memories.
To read this article in its entirety go to Townhall.
We all should be absolutely alarmed by the current state of fatherhood in this country. It is terribly troubling that our society accepts fatherhood as a luxury, not a necessity. An involved, loving, active father has become the exception in this country, and it's time we make it the norm again.
On the surface, there are some things that only a father can provide his children. Although a mother is vital to a child's development, there are some activities that a dad just makes perfect. Shooting baskets or going ice skating becomes more than a bonding experience between father and child, it becomes a moment when boys learn how to carry themselves as men, how to strive for a goal, work hard, and strengthen their male personality. It becomes a moment when daughters learn how a man should properly treat a woman, interact with males, try their best, overcome adversity, and strive for their potential. There is little in life that can simulate these fathers – child moments that turn ordinary days into treasured lifelong memories.
To read this article in its entirety go to Townhall.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Happy Fathers Day
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Happy Veteran's Day
Here is a photo of Ralph's Father Fernando; Christopher and Ralph, taken about 10 years ago (all three are veteran's, two were in the Army and one is in the Navy) 
Here are Ralph (12 years Army), Christopher and Fernando (27 years Army and 18 years in the State Guard in Puerto Rico; two tours in the Korean War and two tours in the Viet Nam War, with many awards, including two Purple Hearts) at Christopher's Commissioning in 2006Monday, August 25, 2008
Father-Son Relationships
The Botkin family is creating another DVD. They are a very talented family with much insight into God's role in the family. Go to their site to see the trailer for this new project. I highly recommend their other DVD, "The Return of the Daughters".
Announcing…Posted August 19, 2008, by Anna Sofia
We are proud to announce our family’s latest project: “Father to Son: Manly Conversations That Can Change Culture” — a six-part DVD series on the father-son relationship, coming this Fall.
We’re moving into the post-production process right now. We consider this to be one of the most significant productions our family has ever embarked on. We’d appreciate your help circulating the news about this exciting new series! Please also feel free to send us your marketing ideas. Your prayers, help, support and ideas are always welcome!
Announcing…Posted August 19, 2008, by Anna Sofia
We are proud to announce our family’s latest project: “Father to Son: Manly Conversations That Can Change Culture” — a six-part DVD series on the father-son relationship, coming this Fall.
We’re moving into the post-production process right now. We consider this to be one of the most significant productions our family has ever embarked on. We’d appreciate your help circulating the news about this exciting new series! Please also feel free to send us your marketing ideas. Your prayers, help, support and ideas are always welcome!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Father's Day with My Dad
Hannah & Alicia being silly, posing at Grandpa's homeToday we went to spend the day with my Dad to celebrate Father's day. I am thankful for my Dad. I feel very blessed having a father who loves God and raised us children to love Him too.
Grandma, Hannah, Alicia and GrandpaWe had a lot of fun just sitting around talking or enjoying the out of doors. It was a beautiful day. Ralph BBQ's a couple of awesome tri-tips, we also had tossed salad, a jello salad to die for (it was orange jello with mandarin oranges and mixed with vanilla ice cream and set, it tasted like orange sherbert ice cream), baked potatoes and green beans.
Penny, Ralph, Me and DadThank you Dad for being such a great example of a godly man to me and my children. I love you, Dad.
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